We apologise that it has taken a few weeks to address the current status of the band,” they wrote.
This decision has not been easy for the three of us. Together we have decided that With Confidence will be taking time off.
We have put all touring on hold and postponed the recording of our second album. We will instead be spending time at home with our families to personally process everything that has occurred. We need to and want to be a band that deals with their past, present and future responsibly.
While we cannot change what has happened, we are taking steps to reflect and grow. Looking forward we want to work harder than ever to ensure we always do the right thing by our fans. We will do everything we can to contribute to making music a safe and positive place for all upon our return.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Inigo Del Carmen
No words can describe my disappointment and hurt for what has happened. As a musician in a position of influence, you should never abuse that power to manipulate people. It’s unacceptable, irresponsible and disgusting.
We have taken time to process this because music is our dream and our career. I believe music should be a place where people can unite safely without being harassed or feeling unsafe in any way, shape or form. It is our responsibility as people to look out for each other and support one another, not to use and manipulate each other for personal gain.
I have deeply considered my position in the band and I believe as we continue together as a band we can enforce the positive things we believe in and use our position to illuminate the issues we want to fight against.
As a brother with three younger sisters, these events have bothered me beyond words. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this. As an individual, I am deeply saddened and angered. You should always stand up for those who aren’t strong enough to stand up on their own.
Thank you everyone for your patience on an update about the band and its future. It’s been difficult to digest and unpack everything I feel about this situation. I still haven’t. I’m sorry.
Please understand it has not been an easy situation. I had something taken from me too. I always said our shows were a safe place, and I always firmly believed they were. I’ve always thought that through this band I was helping put good out. It hurt to suddenly learn dark things were happening to the very people we were meant to support and protect.
For the first time in my life I felt ashamed of who I was. For the first time in six years, I felt like I didn’t have a purpose or a future. I saw terrible things posted about me by people who had never met me. I wanted to leave the band and I wanted complete disassociation.
Since then I have thought long and hard these past weeks and I do still think this band can do good. I want to make a positive difference in the world. I want to support music being a safe space. I want to be a band that acts by example in an industry plagued by a culture of abuse in which it is not only normalised but whitewashed.
I grew up listening to this style of music. I care about it and I always felt safe at shows. I am passionate about doing everything I can so that the next generation of young people can experience that too.
At this point all I can say is that we are taking a break. This has not been an easy decision but we need time. Time to heal, time to process and understand and time to miss the things I love about this band.
I have put everything into this band the past six years. I quit my degree so I could tour. I sold my car when I needed money. I’ve had relationships fail. I’ve struggled to hold down a job. I have put all my energy into this but I would step away from it entirely if I felt it was the right thing to do.
Please do not think we have taken this lightly. It hurts so much that it was my band and that I am inherently tied with it but I am so thankful to the first person coming forward. I am happier knowing that these problems could be addressed than believing they could have potentially continued.
More than anything I want you guys to feel happy and comfortable. If that means you feel you cannot support this band or listen right now, I understand. Please take all the time you need. Love you guys. Thanks for everything.
The last few weeks have been very emotional for us. This time away has led me to a place of reflection and introspection. If I met myself, am I someone I would respect? Am I proud of the person I am today? I’ve always wanted to be the best version of myself, but have I been fighting hard enough for it?
In 2012, With Con started out in the local Sydney music scene and a lot of the friends the band made were in younger bands. Subsequently, I found myself in new social circles younger than myself. This led to situations like responding to suggestive Snapchat conversations, helping two friends who were 16 get into an 18+ club and sharing a kiss with one of them, and dating a girl a few months shy of 18.
These actions do not reflect who I am today. In my young age and immaturity, I never intended to mislead or hurt anyone, including my own bandmates and best friends, but inadvertently have and for that, I’m truly sorry.
I deeply love every single person who has supported this band. You’ve given me purpose; an outlet for the one thing I know how to do; a reason to live. To continue being honest with you is the very least you deserve. I wanted to share these situations because everyone should be held accountable for their actions, and it’s in this accountability we can truly grow and move forward.
I’m going to use this time off to continue this journey of growth and do whatever I can to help work towards a safer music scene and a positive future for everyone, myself included.