Breathe Carolina
Hello Fascination

Breathe Carolina - Hello Fascination

I must’ve been asleep when this takeover happened. The entire “genre” of techno/crunk/scream garbage just broke out overnight it seems. There was no warning, just one day “bands” like Brokencyde, I Set My Friends On Fire, and the like where picking up fans left and right. Not to be outdone is Breathe Carolina, who has unleashed their Fearless debut, Hello Fascination, to unfortunate souls.

The only thing that sets the opening title track apart from being a Lady Gaga or Britney Spears song are the mistimed screams and cheesy breakdowns. And then the next 12 songs sound nearly identical and follow the same formula: super poppy electronica beats layered with guitars, background screams, whiny vocals, and the occasional “br00t” breakdown. “I’m The Type of Person To Take It Personal” is just auditory diarrhea, while “Dressed Up To Undress” sounds like Super Mario Bros. on a bad acid trip. 

“I.D.G.A.F.” (aka “I don’t give a fuck”) comes across as a poor man’s Cobra Starship (which is especially concerning considering what Cobra just released as “music”). Sadly, this song exemplifies what’s wrong with listeners these days. They “D.G.A.F” about what they’re ingesting as long as they can dance to it or make out with some scene girl with skunk hair and a Jac Vanek bracelet; regardless of how empty and repetitive it is. 

In fact, I can’t even go on. Hello Fascination is sucking my will to live. Every time I’ve played this album on my MacBook, I’ve feared it would engulf itself in flames as punishment to me for playing such trash on it. Breathe Carolina will sell a lot of copies, so good for them, but that doesn’t make this band any less despicable to self-respecting fans of music. It’s kind of funny how their promo ads display what kind of music this is: vomit. Anyways, I’m going back to bed, someone wake me up when this “genre” is buried in its neon coffin. 

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