This is the last time I am going to write about Cody Payne. I spent a good portion of last night trying to decide if I wanted to respond at all to the recent bullshit that spawned up over the weekend. In all honesty, I don’t want to squander any of my time writing about this or giving him any more publicity. After talking with some close friends about the entire ordeal, they convinced me that I needed to at least say something and close this chapter for good. My plan is to be brief and explain myself and then walk away from this toxic hellstew.
From Floodlove’s Twitter:
@jason_tate get over the fact that your wife divorced you after one month. youre such a bitter fuck these days.
I’ve had virtually every insult known to man thrown at me over the course of my online life. I’ve been called every name in the book, had practically every relative (living or dead) insulted, been photoshopped on plenty of naked bodies, had loved ones threatened, abused, and lied to, and received multiple death threats. Forged in the fire of the internet: I have very thick skin. It has become an unfortunate reality that you either develop one or you find another job. That said — this is not an insult to me. First, it’s factually incorrect. I was with my former wife for over three years and we mutually agreed to get a divorce, like millions of people do, over two years ago. This isn’t news. It being “public” information is also a byproduct of a life lived partially online. Furthermore, I am virtually certain we would both agree: it was a wonderful decision to do young and to be able to walk away when we did. This was a good thing for both of us and it has led to the most meaningful time in my life in terms of relationships, education, and personal growth. It seems almost cliché to say I am happier now, but it remains the truth none the less. Given all the occasions that Louis CK bits are used online to try and justify horrible things, I feel compelled to point to where he got it right. Using this as an insult is absolutely ludicrous — it’s like trying to make fun of me for graduating college. It’s actually closer to saying, “hey, you know that event that made your life immeasurably better, led to vast personal work and growth, led to the best relationship of your entire life, and made you, your family, and those around you happier? — Yeah, that’s gotta suck!” He’s used this same ‘dig’ toward me at least three other times, and after the second one I blocked him on Twitter and from Facebook. I’ve gone out of my way to ignore him because I truly believe he is a disturbed individual and I don’t want to have anything to do with him.
As for the legal threats, the absurdity of those have been pointed out quite a few times already by lawyers (also instantly discoverable by anyone that has ever spent 15 minutes on Google). Apparently Zack tracked down and called Cody’s alleged lawyer today:
You ever call Cody Payne’s lawyer, and get the response: I’ve never heard of that person, I do not work for him.
Cause, I did.
Shocking. There’s really nothing more to say on this portion — it’s entered the theatre of the absurd and is a waste of everyone’s time to enable Cody in this way any further.
Over the course of running AP.net, I’ve come to believe that issuing an outright ban on certain bands or artists is overkill. We never know if something will change in the future, if more information will make certain posts applicable, or if another staff member besides me will have a different viewpoint. I go out of my way to err on the side of not making sweeping decisions that could alter the editorial side of our website. Take this very example: I really don’t like posting about Cody Payne.1 However, posts like this I still feel inclined to make because I truly do believe raising awareness in certain “buyer beware” situations is advantageous for our readers — they should know what they’re getting into if they choose to spend their money. On top of that, I need to be very clear — I also believe that Mr. Payne needs help. After he sent me a request months ago to post his suicide note on our website, I spent hours on the phone with his friends, record label, and the LA police making sure that someone was with him and he was safe that night. It is clear to me that this man is struggling with issues that are not being addressed. His current path is one of destruction and pain and I don’t know what to do besides what I’ve already done and who I’ve already talked to. At this point, I want nothing else to do with him going forward. The threats and the accusations are too much. As I wrote above, I have put a lot of work into making changes in my life to better myself each day. I have put a lot of time into finding the things that make me happiest and reaching for those. I have learned that I am happiest when I can spend the majority of my time on projects and endeavors that excite and inspire me.2 I’m not about to let someone like this drag me down. Going forward, I hope he gets the help he needs, first and foremost, but I’m not going to go out of my way to cover any of his personal projects — there are far better uses of my time.
Thank you for reading, I hope I’ve been able to explain this in a way that makes sense. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions you may have.
- I’ve even been asked by former members of the band to not refer to them as “ex-The Dangerous Summer” because they wish to avoid any association with him, I’ll continue to write about their projects.
- Yes, I am aware that it’s a little weird it took this long for me to come to this seemingly obvious conclusion.